I Need Inspiration

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I need a little Tupac in my life right about now and maybe for the last year and a half. :)



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Busy Day

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I had my infusion this morning and I am so tired! I kept falling asleep on and off the whole day. I think I only ate once because I couldn't keep my eyes open. Today was the first day that I had IV Benadryl push instead of in a piggyback IV and I have to say that I think I felt it more. Most people don't need Benadryl for Herceptin or Perjeta but I get a crazy itching that I can't stand and the Benadryl helps. I'll take the itching and Benadryl over cancer any day. Today was also my first day back at the main infusion center at UCSF. I don't like it there. It doesn't feel as personal but they closed the overflow wing which is where I loved to go because they had only two patients to a room and it felt more intimate. The infusion center I went to today has 4 people to a room and it's so crowded and noisy. Plus, I was sitting next to a grumpy old man that was complaining about everything. He started yelling because someone answered their cell phone. She wasn...
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Headache...Please Go Away!

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Ugh, I've had a headache for 3 days in a row and I can't seem to get rid of it. It's getting to the point where I feel nauseous. I keep having to make myself eat at least once a day but it's so hard because I have no appetite. I start eating but then I have to stop because it makes me nauseous and sometimes even the thought of food makes me sick. You'd think between feeling nauseous, having no appetite and having serious stomach issues I'd be losing weight but I'm not. At least I'm not gaining any though. My weight has been holding steady for months. I do want to start going out for more walks though. I need some distraction.  What I really need though is a stress free environment. My scan is getting closer and I'm getting more and more nervous. Plus, every time I think things are getting easier, things get worse. Two steps forward but then two steps back. I think I have to stop letting my guard down. Every time I do I just end up being the one hur...
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Sticks and Stones

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Recently I’ve learned a lot of things about people in my life and I am trying to make an effort to keep away from negativity. Negativity stresses me out and stress is the last thing I need. Someone recently tried to say that karma is the reason I have cancer which left me kind of in shock. I’ll admit I’m not perfect but I definitely don’t think I or anyone deserves cancer. If that’s the way karma worked then why do so many great people get sick and die young, while many evil ones get to live well into old age? The comment made me very upset at the time but now I realize that I have to make an effort not to let negativity like that get me down. Life is too short to worry about what other people think. Maybe they didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did or at least that’s what I’m hoping, but the lesson here is to really think about your words before they come out of your mouth. Another example is talking about how you know someone that died of cancer to someone that has cancer. Altho...
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