I'm Gonna Keep on Fighting...

-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Struggling

-
Image
I've been having a really tough time this week. One of my good friends died and I'm struggling. Our other friend died a couple of months ago so losing another friend in such a short time has affected me. All I've been doing is crying. I'm so dehydrated. I can't even eat which is probably a good thing since I've gained weight recently. Plus, my sister died in December. I thought I could handle all this death around me but I'm starting to think that maybe I can't but the thing is...I have no choice. Death is going to continue to happen because I've entered this new world where death happens all the time. I have Stage 4 fucking cancer and yes...my friends are going to die and it's not fucking fair.  I've decided I'm going to her funeral. I need to say goodbye. I miss her and my other friend so much already. Plus, I feel guilty. Why are they gone and I'm still here? We have the same disease. Why do some of us live longer? I don't ge...
Read more

My Life Now

-
It's been a lazy day today. Other than going to Costco for groceries and gas I've just been watching movies. I managed to sneak in working out for 40 minutes which was difficult but so worth it because I had intended to go on a hike today but opted to sleep in with the love of my life even though he did a bad job on Mother's Day. Why do so many guys need so much prompting for special occasions? I even had to remind Cruz yesterday that it was Mother's Day. I wasn't looking for much...I at least wanted a home made card but instead I got myself a red velvet cupcake from Sift and ate it for breakfast today. I know...not healthy, but it was for Mother's Day...I mean, I almost died giving birth for God's sake. And now I have Stage 4 cancer and am still working...I deserve a cupcake. And Cruz decided to walk to Starbucks to get me a white mocha, my favorite.  But anyway, I watched the movie Me Before You earlier today and I think I cried for half the movie. The...
Read more

Tired :(

-
I was sick for almost a week. First Cruz and then me. I had the biggest headache for 2 days that made it even worse. It finally went away after I took a nap yesterday. I hate headaches. It always makes me think I have a brain tumor which is what happened Friday night. My headache was so bad that I was sure I had a brain tumor and that if I fell asleep I would die. So, I stayed awake as long as I could. I fought off sleep until my body was so exhausted I passed out. I haven't had a brain MRI in awhile and sometimes I think I should request one from my oncologist but I'm scared. I want to know but I don't want to know. I think I'm fine but I don't know for sure. My situation could change in the blink of an eye and that's scary to think about. My liver has also been hurting again. And my shoulder. I feel like one of those old people that has like 100 ailments and I'm only in my 30's. This isn't supposed to be happening....but it is. Next, I'll be ob...
Read more