reflections

Lately I've been having a lot of dreams where I have a baby boy. In my dreams Cruz is always playing with his little brother. The baby boy has more of my features and is darker than Cruz but they still have the same father. It's just so strange because there is absolutely no chance of me having another baby unless it's the miracle of a lifetime. It feels nice though. Having Cruz has changed my whole perspective on having children. I wish that I had been given the opportunity to have at least one more but I guess God had different plans for my life. I'm still not sure what they are because He's sure making life a challenge for me but I'm still here so I guess I'm not finished doing what he has planned for me yet. Right now I'm mostly just focused on school and work. It's definitely been challenging. I feel like I have no time to really enjoy hiking or do some fun things with Cruz because I'm either at work, school or doctors appointments. Even t