reflections

Sometime this morning: I'm sitting here in the infusion center at the moment getting my chemo drugs and also starting to feel really sleepy from the Benadryl. Being on Benadryl is such a weird feeling because I'm so sleepy but I try to fight it until I can no longer keep my eyes open. I think it's because I'm still afraid to fall asleep and not wake up. It's an irrational thought, I know. Plus, it's April...my Cancerversary month. 6 years ago in the month of April I found out I had Metastatic breast cancer. I found the tumor on April 6, went to the doctor on April 9, got an ultrasound and mammogram April 10, biopsy on April 11, told I had HER2+ breast cancer on April 12, PET scan and bone scan April 26, and found out it had already spread to my liver on April 27. The only date I can't remember is the day I had the breast MRI to get an accurate size of the tumor. Turns out I had 3 tumors in my right breast measuring 7cm, 3cm and 1cm. I also had 2 lesions on

Sorry I have been MIA for so long. There have been so many changes in my life since the last post. After being with my new oncologist for a few months, I actually really like her. I still miss UCSF but things are going well with my oncologist other than the fact that I didn't have health insurance for two months so I have basically missed chemo for 2 months. Why did I lose my health insurance? Well...it all started in October (kind of). I came home one day and Cruz's father had moved out without a word or explanation. I guess he doesn't have to tell me because I know why and if you know me, then you know why too but to leave just like that was a shit move. Since then, Cruz and I have barely seen him and I'm not sure if we ever will at this point. Won't go into details. Needless to say, Cruz and I are on our own. I ended up finding a job in my hometown and moved back home to save money but I kept my old job as per diem just in case things didn't work out. Well,