So Tired
Why does growing up still feel like high school? It feels like no matter how old you get you still encounter the same issues. I feel like I'm always going to be the girl on the outside looking in. Even at my age I don't feel like I belong with the other mothers from school. There are only a few that I feel like truly make the effort with me and I feel comfortable hanging out with and asking for help. Maybe I'm just not "friend" material especially now that I have Stage IV cancer. Not sure if maybe my situation scares people or if I'm truly not like-able. I get it that I have a fucked up life right now not including cancer but still...everyone should have someone they can talk to. I used to try to make friends with other people in my neighborhood but I guess I'm not too good at it. I guess I have to get comfortable with being alone. Maybe I'm just too sensitive...I don't know. All I know is that I'm tired of trying. Making friends shouldn't