Anything Could Happen

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Sticks and Stones

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Recently I’ve learned a lot of things about people in my life and I am trying to make an effort to keep away from negativity. Negativity stresses me out and stress is the last thing I need. Someone recently tried to say that karma is the reason I have cancer which left me kind of in shock. I’ll admit I’m not perfect but I definitely don’t think I or anyone deserves cancer. If that’s the way karma worked then why do so many great people get sick and die young, while many evil ones get to live well into old age? The comment made me very upset at the time but now I realize that I have to make an effort not to let negativity like that get me down. Life is too short to worry about what other people think. Maybe they didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did or at least that’s what I’m hoping, but the lesson here is to really think about your words before they come out of your mouth. Another example is talking about how you know someone that died of cancer to someone that has cancer. Altho...
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New Oncologist

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I had my fist appointment with my new oncologist today and it was kind of sad. I miss my oncologist at UCSF. She has been with me on this journey for 5 fucking years and it's hard to say goodbye. I hope that one day we can meet again cuz she was awesome. She got me where I am today. I know that it's just luck though. Not everyone responds to treatment so well like I have and I admit that I feel guilty about that. So many friends in my support groups have died and I'm still here. We really need a fucking cure. My appointment went smoothly for the most part. My new oncologist tried to prescribe decadron which is a steroid but I promptly nixed that. I DO NOT want to get on steroids unless absolutely necessary. I don't like the way steroids make me feel or the fact that they make me fat. It's sounds stupid, I know. But right now I feel relatively well and to me steroids are a last resort. I do not believe I need them at this time. I've been doing fine without them...
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Busy Day

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I had my infusion this morning and I am so tired! I kept falling asleep on and off the whole day. I think I only ate once because I couldn't keep my eyes open. Today was the first day that I had IV Benadryl push instead of in a piggyback IV and I have to say that I think I felt it more. Most people don't need Benadryl for Herceptin or Perjeta but I get a crazy itching that I can't stand and the Benadryl helps. I'll take the itching and Benadryl over cancer any day. Today was also my first day back at the main infusion center at UCSF. I don't like it there. It doesn't feel as personal but they closed the overflow wing which is where I loved to go because they had only two patients to a room and it felt more intimate. The infusion center I went to today has 4 people to a room and it's so crowded and noisy. Plus, I was sitting next to a grumpy old man that was complaining about everything. He started yelling because someone answered their cell phone. She wasn...
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