Starting Over

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A new year means new beginnings. So many things have changed in the last two years and I'm ready for some stability and some excitement too. I'm starting with re-decorating my house. I know it sounds minor but I have to get rid of all the negativity that came with the old furniture. The only furniture I kept was the bedroom furniture because I bought that. With the living room and kitchen I'm starting from scratch. I even got new dishes. I'm excited to see what the house will look like after it's all done. The house is actually the easy part. The other negative parts of my life are a little more difficult. One of them being this stupid breast cancer that God decided I was strong enough for. 

 I'm really nervous about my upcoming scan because of all the stress that I've been under the past several months. Stress is definitely not good for cancer cells and I'm trying my hardest not to let anyone stress me out. It is getting easier to tune it out though. I just keep having faith that God has a plan for me and that something good has to happen this year. Too much bad stuff has happened for this not to be a really good year for me. It's just very difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone I loved wishes I hadn't survived but you know what, f**k that. I'm starting to realize that I am strong. Who else can have cancer and still work full time while going through chemo? And be the primary provider of the household as well as an awesome mom (Cruz's words). No one can ever replace me. I have a tough fight ahead of me but I have already proven that I can handle whatever comes my way.

 I'm hoping that my scan comes back clear once again and that more positive things come my way. I'm creating a fresh start for Cruz and I. He already told me that he loves the living room with the new furniture. I still have to get a kitchen table and an awesome friend is going to help me put it all together with the finishing touches. She actually picked out the furniture so I have to give her all the credit. I don't think I could do it without the help. So, once again I have to say that I'm excited to see how it all looks like when it's all done. New beginnings are so much fun! Scary but exciting. So please continue to pray for clear scans. Cruz and I will appreciate the prayers.

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