Chemo Brain and Priorities

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The past two years I feel like I can't finish anything. I can't finish school, I stopped following my favorite shows and I even stopped reading. I used to read all the time. I would finish books in one day if I really liked them. The problem is that I haven't stopped buying books either. I just can't give up a good Kindle deal and the occasional hard copy. I always tell myself that I will read them but the books just keep stacking up. I think I'm going to make the effort to actually read my books. The shows I'm not too worried about but school is my other problem. I really need to just do it because I only have 4 units left to finish but they're the MOST IMPORTANT units. I have to finish my residency and complete a research paper/project. I just don't feel smart enough to do it anymore. 

 Chemo has really affected my memory. I used to be really good at remembering faces and names but now I have such a hard time with that. I also feel that my attention span has severely decreased. In a way I'm scared that I won't be able to complete a good project. I know that the hardest part is coming up with the idea and starting it but I just can't think of a good way to start. I have ideas but I have no idea how to make it happen. I wish that I had been able to finish my degree before I was diagnosed. Cancer has interrupted my life in so many ways but I need to stop letting it hold me back. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I HAVE to finish school. I probably won't ever use my degree but at least I'll know that I finished it. 

 At this point in my life I've just realized that things I thought were important before are not as important as I believed them to be. I just want to focus my attention on spending time with the people I love. I really don't care about a grand career and making more money. I'd rather be home with Cruz. I love being a nurse but Cruz will always be my priority and so are all the people in my life that I love. I feel like I have to try and enjoy my health and the people in my life NOW because I don't know how long this good health will last. I won't be able to have fun when my health starts going downhill. So I have decided that I really need to plan vacations more often. Any suggestions?

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