Does an Afterlife/Heaven Exist?

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People keep telling me that I'm brave and strong and I truly wish that I can agree with those statements but in the end I'm still just a scared little girl that doesn't want to die yet. I'll gladly tell you that I'm scared of death. I'm scared of the unknown. I'd like to believe that there's a Heaven and an afterlife but I really don't know. Have any of you read the book Lovely Bones? (And I mean read the book not watched the movie; it really does make a difference). In the book everyone has their own heaven and in a way that does sound appealing. In my own Heaven I want to have all my loved ones with me. Unfortunately that may not be what they want but at least they could visit me, right? I guess I just wish I was absolutely sure that an afterlife exists. Would I want to be re-incarnated? Maybe, but hopefully I live a good life without all this bad luck.

 At this point in my life I think I have been a little naive and too trusting of other people's intentions. This has just led to a lot of heart ache. Add cancer to the mix and it makes a very difficult situation. But for now I'm just going to try and make the best of the time I have left and hope that my next life is better. I wonder if I've ever had another life in the past. Was I a good person? Or was I a bad person and that's why I'm going through this whole cancer thing? I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I just hope that I always have a Cruz in my life. :)

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