Past Life

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Many of you know that I love anything paranormal or supernatural. I love scary movies and ghost shows. I could watch them all day. So, lately I've been watching this show where this guy does past life regression through hypnosis and another show where they talk about kids that remember past lives. It's just so interesting to me to think that we may have lived a different life. One of the kids in the show said that God wants us to learn something and He'll keep sending us back until we get it right. I tend to believe that it's possible that reincarnation exists but I also believe in Heaven. I don't think I have to stick to just one belief.

 If I have lived a past life then I wonder what God wants me to learn that I'm not getting right. I guess I might have an idea. He's just throwing me so many curve balls in this lifetime that it makes me wonder why so many? Is it because I've made so many mistakes that He just wants me to get it already? Is it because He thinks I'm incapable of getting it right on my own so He's making it as tough as possible for me in hopes that a switch will turn on in my head and I just know what to do? I don't know but it would be interesting to know if I have lived a past life. Who was I? What did I do to get so many difficult situations in this lifetime? 

 I would be completely open to going through a past life regression session. I guess I just want to know why all this stuff is happening to me. And I hate that saying that God only gives you what you can handle because I'm sorry, but this sucks. I've been dizzy all day, I'm having serious stomach issues, my body hurts, bruises are covering my entire body because I've been extra clumsy lately and I'm so tired because I can't sleep. Every thought that comes to my mind today is that I have a brain tumor or the cancer has spread to my bones. I know my recent scan was good but every ache or abnormality scares me and sends me into this spiral of thoughts that the cancer is back and bigger than ever. 

 Despite all of this I just keep going and for everyone else I pretend that everything is okay. I get up every morning and do what I have to do to keep living for Cruz and for me. If I have to live another life then it better be a good one. That's all I have to say.

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