Hope

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For the first time in a long time I'm letting myself believe that everything will be okay. I've been showing NED for quite awhile and I'm enjoying thinking about the future. At the same time, I'm still trying to hold back a little. It kind of feels like I don't want to jinx myself but I know that I should enjoy this amazing news so I'm going to try really hard to do so. I have a follow-up appointment with my oncologist on Wednesday to go over my results and treatment plan in person. I'm a little nervous that they're going to make my scans further apart now because I've been doing so well. I like being closely monitored so that we can catch a recurrence ASAP but I also recognize that all this radiation isn't exactly good for me. My infusions won't change though because as long as it's working I think my doctors will keep going with it and I'm okay with that.

 The only thing I hate about this medication is that it makes my nails, hair and skin so brittle and fragile. I have to keep my nails extra short and even then they still crack down the middle. It hurts. I also can't even scratch an itch because it breaks open my skin no matter how careful I am. And my nice curly hair is growing back sooo slow, it's torture. Hopefully in a couple of months I'm comfortable enough with my hair to not wear extensions anymore.

Another thing that I don't think will change is my Lovenox injections. I think my oncologist is uncomfortable with changing my blood thinner to a pill form. I guess it's not so bad giving myself injections everyday. I'm used to it. Yeah, the bruises aren't fun but I'd rather have bruises than a blood clot. 
This is my bruise from my IV from last Thursday. 

 I'll keep you all updated if anything changes on Wednesday. And for the record, that's another day off spent at doctor appointments.

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