F**k
It has been an extremely stressful week. Between getting bad news, getting my infusion and being sick I'm ready for some happy news again. In regards to my own health, I'm finally starting to feel better but I think I actually have to thank my infusion for that. Since it makes me so sleepy it allowed me to get all the rest I needed but wasn't allowing myself to get. I think I slept most of the day yesterday but unfortunately I got Cruz sick too. He's starting to feel better too though so I'm glad. I think I've gotten sick more often these past two years than ever before. I usually have a really good immune system except for the whole cancer thing.
But anyway, about that bad news. Here it is: one of my sisters needs a liver transplant.
A lot to take in, right? It's been kind of hard to wrap my mind around the whole thing. I'm really starting to wonder what God has against my family to bring so much heartache. I guess it all started a few weeks before my surgery last July. One of my sisters got really sick and ended up in the hospital. She started the rounds of doctor appointments to figure out what was wrong and eventually she found out and so did everyone else except me. I guess they all thought that hiding it from me was best so I wouldn't stress out but to be honest, it just makes me angry. There is no need to hide things from me. I can handle it. If anything, I think I am the most prepared with dealing with major health issues.
I admit that I don't like to talk about my health issues with my family because I like to pretend that everything is normal but at least I'm doing what I have to do to survive and be here for Cruz. For most people, I don't mind talking about my disease because I feel that people can learn from it. I just hope my sister really puts in the effort to be here for her daughter and fight to survive. I'm just really sick of all this bad shit happening. And now, I can't even be an organ donor because of my stupid cancer. I have the same blood type (AB +) as my sister who's sick and I so wish I could help her but I can't. I want all my siblings to be healthy and live extra long lives because I may not. It hurts me to know that one of my sisters has joined me in the chronic disease club. I can't imagine what she's thinking right now but I know that I will always be there for her in case she wants to talk. For now, I urge all of you to become organ donors if you can and pray for my family because we really need it.
I also can't help thinking about my parents and the thought of them having to witness two of their children fight for their lives and the possibility of not one but possibly two of their children going to Heaven before they do. I know that for me the thought is something that would tear me apart so I can't imagine what my parents are thinking. I really don't know what to do right now. I don't like not being able to fix things and I think I'm running out of tears. This whole thing just sucks! Hopefully we get some good news soon.
But anyway, about that bad news. Here it is: one of my sisters needs a liver transplant.
A lot to take in, right? It's been kind of hard to wrap my mind around the whole thing. I'm really starting to wonder what God has against my family to bring so much heartache. I guess it all started a few weeks before my surgery last July. One of my sisters got really sick and ended up in the hospital. She started the rounds of doctor appointments to figure out what was wrong and eventually she found out and so did everyone else except me. I guess they all thought that hiding it from me was best so I wouldn't stress out but to be honest, it just makes me angry. There is no need to hide things from me. I can handle it. If anything, I think I am the most prepared with dealing with major health issues.
I admit that I don't like to talk about my health issues with my family because I like to pretend that everything is normal but at least I'm doing what I have to do to survive and be here for Cruz. For most people, I don't mind talking about my disease because I feel that people can learn from it. I just hope my sister really puts in the effort to be here for her daughter and fight to survive. I'm just really sick of all this bad shit happening. And now, I can't even be an organ donor because of my stupid cancer. I have the same blood type (AB +) as my sister who's sick and I so wish I could help her but I can't. I want all my siblings to be healthy and live extra long lives because I may not. It hurts me to know that one of my sisters has joined me in the chronic disease club. I can't imagine what she's thinking right now but I know that I will always be there for her in case she wants to talk. For now, I urge all of you to become organ donors if you can and pray for my family because we really need it.
I also can't help thinking about my parents and the thought of them having to witness two of their children fight for their lives and the possibility of not one but possibly two of their children going to Heaven before they do. I know that for me the thought is something that would tear me apart so I can't imagine what my parents are thinking. I really don't know what to do right now. I don't like not being able to fix things and I think I'm running out of tears. This whole thing just sucks! Hopefully we get some good news soon.
God doesn't have anything against your family. But you have to put your faith in Him for healing! He's kept you as healthy as you can be, despite the circumstances, so you can be a rock for your family. I can't imagine what you're going through but I'll keep praying for your family.
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