New Year, New Deductible

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It's a new year and with it comes more tests and more treatments. Sucks. It also means the beginning of deductibles. Really sucks! The beginning of the year comes with double the expenses until I meet my deductibles for my medical insurance. In some ways it's okay because I meet those deductibles pretty quickly but it also means a large amount of money all at once. Something I cannot afford but I have no choice but to take on more medical debt. It's either that or my life. I've been trying really hard to earn extra money but so far it hasn't worked out too well. Won't stop trying though. How many more jobs should I have to take on to get through this? It's really difficult but I have to think of something. I don't want to spend all my time working because then I'm going to miss out on being present for Cruz. 

 Sigh...

 I'm going to try not to let this take over my thoughts. I want to focus on the good things that are happening right now. Obviously I can't just ignore my medical bills but I don't want to spend my whole time worrying about it. It's just not fair that on top of having an incurable disease I have to worry about finances and how I'm going to pay to get the drugs that will help me live longer.

 I wish this was easier but it is what it is. Drug companies need to stop taking advantage of the sick. I know they need to make money but do they really have to charge so much? And why are insurance companies so cheap? Our life is in their hands and they feel they have the right to tell us which drugs we can get and which ones we can't? It's so frustrating and I still can't believe that this is my life now after two and half years of living it.

 I just hope that this week I get some really awesome news that I've been waiting for, for so long. It would really distract my thoughts from all this nonsense. And to add just a little bit more to my wierdness, I can't wait for my infusion on Wednesday. I'll spend a fun-filled day at UCSF getting my shoulder MRI and my infusion. I feel like I'm actually doing something on my infusion days to kill this stupid cancer one cell at a time. Until next time. :)

 I'll leave you with this picture I saw recently that pretty much describes the life of a chronically ill person.

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