Overwhelmed

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Feeling completely overwhelmed and alone tonight. Another death in my Metastatic group this morning which makes 3 in less than a week. All of the women were under 40. So many people have had progression as well and it's really scaring the fuck out of me. At the same time I'm feeling really guilty because I've been doing well for the past two years. I've been sitting here in my bed crying for the past 2 hours. For the women that die every day from this stupid disease, for their families, their children, for me and Cruz. I really hate this. I don't want to be the strong one all the time. I want someone to take care of me for a change. Sometimes I wish we could leave this place and pretend like everything's okay. I don't fit in here anyway. It's just so hard when you don't have a good support system close to you. I'm tired of rejection and feeling like an outcast. I wish I knew someone that lived really close to me that was going through the same thing because they're the only ones that get it. I just want to scream!!! This whole thing just isn't fair. 

Comments

  1. MandiApril 17, 2015 at 4:32 PM

    Gentle hugs from Utah. I too have been having a rough time wrapping my head around everything lately. So much bad news. :( I am trying to do everything I can in various ways to "help." Radio, TV, fundraising - one day I hope it all makes a difference. <3

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