Sad...

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I've been feeling kind of sad for the past few days. A few women from our Metastatic community passed away and it sucks. They were too young to die and they were taken from their families because of this stupid disease. It scares me. I knew that by joining support groups for Metastatic Breast Cancer patients I would see this happen but it still really, really sucks. I think it's also hitting me hard because they were all so young and I feel like it's all happening so fast. I feel like one minute you're fine and the next you're not. 

 I'm fine now but for how long? Months...years? I don't know. I know that we will all die eventually but it's sooo much different when you face death every day. That whole analogy of how we could all be hit by a car tomorrow and die is just frustrating because it's NOT the same as being told you are dying and even given a timeline. In one scenario it's sudden. You're here and then you're gone. You probably don't even realize what happened. With cancer and other terminal illnesses you're slowly dying and the end can be prolonged and painful. Definitely not the same. It's very scary. I don't want to have pain. Having Stage IV cancer is psychologically traumatic. 

 One of the girls that passed away recently tweeted a quote from a song just a few days before she died. It was "I am leaving I am leaving but the fighter still remains". I think it's a very fitting quote for our situation. I'm so sad and heartbroken that this has to happen to so many of us. 

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