Anxious but Loving Life

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So, I'm going back to work soon and I'm really nervous. I don't want to go back. At least not to the same place. Don't get me wrong, I love being a nurse and I'm looking forward to caring for patients again. I just wish it was somewhere new. Something different. I kind of enjoyed being able to go to appointments without being questioned these past few months. For the most part, I was able to take care of my medical needs without being judged and I liked that. It's not the patients that worry me, it's the politics in that specific work place. The thought of going back is just increasing my anxiety to a whole new level which is why I've been going on hikes and walks lately. I need to keep my mind busy and relaxed. I just think it's kind of sad that I have to increase the amount of appointments I have with a therapist because of a job. But I'm keeping positive thoughts in my head that something better is coming my way in terms of my career because I am definitely not ready to stop working. Despite enjoying this long break, I'm looking forward to meeting new patients and helping them get better. I'm just going to keep my head down and keep to myself at work from now on. My patients will be my priority while at work and then I'll come home and take care of Cruz and my medical needs. 

 I have to just enjoy the next couple of weeks because I go back to work and Cruz goes back to school. Plus, next week is my birthday! I love birthdays now. It means that I'm still here! Now, if only I can think of something fun to do. I wish I had the money to go on a trip. Somewhere fun and exciting! Oh well, maybe next year. I have to save money now since I'm a full time college student, full time cancer patient, full time mom, and full time nurse. That's a lot of responsibility. Next week is actually full of things to do. I have my Herceptin/Perjeta Infusion on Tuesday, Birthday on Wednesday and appointment with my therapist on Thursday. Lots to do but I'm looking forward to it. Now, what should I do for my birthday? I get to celebrate another year of my life. Another year that I'm still here for Cruz. :)

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