Back To School

-
I'm officially back in school to get my Master's Degree. So far it's a lot of work but it makes me feel really good every time I turn in an assignment. I feel like this time I'm finally going to accomplish my goal. I feel motivated to finish. Last time I let cancer get in the way but this time I'm not going to let that happen. Even if I show progression in the near future I am determined to finish my degree. It also feels really awesome to have a Bachelor's degree in nursing. All of my previous work to get my Master's degree should count for something, right? Now I have two Bachelor's degrees and hopefully in two years I will be a Family Nurse Practitioner. I'm still a little nervous about the whole thing but I think it's for the best for my future in my career as a nurse and a cancer patient. My body will eventually not be able to handle the physical stress of working in a hospital. Becoming a family nurse practitioner will allow me to still work in a job I love but it won't be as physically taxing as working in an acute care setting. 

So many good things happening right now yet I have no one to celebrate with me except for Cruz and one more person. I'm kind of tired of reaching out to people and not having them respond so I'm just not going to do it anymore. I've said it before, I'm tired of always making the first move. If you want to hang out with me or at least ask how I'm doing then you can call me. Otherwise, I guess I know where I stand. I'm not even sure most people I know will read this blog. To be honest, I don't think very many people do but I guess this is more for me than anything. 

But anyway, in some more good news my tumor markers are normal! That means that hopefully my upcoming scans won't show progression. Scan time is coming up soon and as always they make me nervous. I just want to be able to finish school relatively healthy. I want to continue to provide for Cruz and be here for him for as long as possible. Hopefully a really long time! I want to be one of those women that lives 15+ years with metastatic breast cancer. I actually can't believe it's been 3 years already since I was diagnosed. It feels like yesterday except that I'm finally not bald. I've been looking through old pictures and I still really miss my long hair. I'm trying to let it grow as long as possible. It's going to feel so nice to feel my hair down my back but at least it touches my shoulders now. Can my hair grow this long again but without being straightened? Actually, can I look this young again too? 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Adventures with Blood Thinners

-
Image
About a year ago on September 12, 2012 I was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism (PE) which is a blood clot in the lung. I had absolutely none of the classic symptoms of a PE. Instead my blood clot was found during one of my routine PET-CT scans to check on the progress of my cancer. For some reason people with cancer have a tendency to develop blood clots and I just happened to be one of the lucky ones that got one. I remember getting off the shuttle at the UCSF Parnassus campus and starting to walk to my sister’s flat when I noticed I had a voicemail. It was my nurse practitioner asking me to call her back because “it was kind of an emergency, but kind of not”. At this point I was really nervous thinking that maybe the cancer had spread instead of getting smaller so I called her back. She then told me that I had to go to the Emergency Room to start a regimen of blood thinners because I had a PE. My Lovenox Syringe So, I went to the ER where they gave me my first shot of Lo
Read more

Sticks and Stones

-
Image
Recently I’ve learned a lot of things about people in my life and I am trying to make an effort to keep away from negativity. Negativity stresses me out and stress is the last thing I need. Someone recently tried to say that karma is the reason I have cancer which left me kind of in shock. I’ll admit I’m not perfect but I definitely don’t think I or anyone deserves cancer. If that’s the way karma worked then why do so many great people get sick and die young, while many evil ones get to live well into old age? The comment made me very upset at the time but now I realize that I have to make an effort not to let negativity like that get me down. Life is too short to worry about what other people think. Maybe they didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did or at least that’s what I’m hoping, but the lesson here is to really think about your words before they come out of your mouth. Another example is talking about how you know someone that died of cancer to someone that has cancer. Altho
Read more

Hair Stylings

-
Image
Hair is important to many women and when you don’t have it; it can be pretty traumatic. I really miss having my long hair. I used to have long, curly hair. I could wear it curly or I could straighten it for a different look. People complimented me on my hair and it felt good. Unfortunately my hair fell out while I was on chemo. It fell out slowly. Every time I took a shower and combed my hair it would come out. It wasn’t noticeable but I didn’t want it to get to the point where I had bald spots and it was getting ridiculous trying to keep the shower from getting clogged so I decided to cut my hair short. I got a lovely short haircut from a friend but soon that wasn’t enough. Chemo was starting to make my head break out in a painful pimple-like rash and it hurt to wash my head. I then just had it shaved instead. I hated watching my hair fall out. Eventually I was bald without having to shave my head. The worst was when my eyebrows and eyelashes fell out. That really made me cry.
Read more